For most moms, Mother’s Day is an exciting holiday filled with good memories and celebration. But for some, it can be a day filled with pain and sadness, particularly for those who lost a child.
You may assume that a bereaved mom doesn’t want to celebrate Mother’s Day, or you may be at a loss trying to figure out an appropriate way to honor her without reminding her of her loss. But once a mother, always a mother. You can still celebrate her this Mother’s Day while paying tribute to the child she lost.
Below, we look at ten sweet yet simple ways to honor a mother who lost a baby or experience a pregnancy loss.
10 Affirm Her Identity
Some people wrongly believe that if your child is no longer here, you’re no longer a mother. But raising a child makes you a parent, no matter how short it lasted.
Today’s Parent explains that it’s important to validate the identity of a bereaved mom on Mother’s Day. Remind her that she’s a mother regardless of what happened, and her love for her lost child won’t fade.
9 A Sentimental Gift
If you’re looking to give a gift to a bereaved mom this Mother’s Day, consider a gift with a special connection to the child who passed. Consider a piece of jewelry with her baby’s name, birthstone, or hand print. You can frame a photo of the child (or an ultrasound if it was a pregnancy loss) or put together a scrapbook. Remember, it’s the thought that counts.
8 Celebrate The Child
Mother’s Day is an emotional holiday for moms who’ve lost a child. To honor the child’s memory, use this holiday as a day of remembrance versus sadness.
Look through pictures of the baby and discuss your favorite memories or what you think the child would be doing or look like today. Don’t be afraid to take the mother out for an activity that has a special connection to the child, like their favorite restaurant or park.
7 Bring Her A Care Package
Another idea for a gift is to prepare a care package. Fill a basket with self-care items to help mom have a relaxing day. Consider skin care and bath products, a book or movie, cozy clothes or a blanket, and her favorite snacks and beverages. On a holiday filled with such emotion, a little relaxation can go a long way.
6 Spend The Day Out
A grieving mom may benefit from spending the day out on Mother’s Day. Choose an activity you know she’ll love and will keep her spirits up as well as her mind distracted on this difficult holiday. Consider going to a local museum, out for drinks, or even a road trip.
5 Trip To The Spa
Another way to help her relax this Mother’s Day is to treat her to a spa visit. After losing a child, this holiday can be stressful and even painful. So, a self-care day at the spa can help her get through it. For a more budget-friendly option, recreate the spa at home with things like face masks and nail polish.
4 Cook Her A Meal
A home-cooked meal can be a huge comfort, especially to a bereaved mom on Mother’s Day. Especially if she has a family to cook for, offering to bring her a meal can be a huge weight off her shoulders. Cook one of her favorite dishes and order in, then spend time reminiscing about her favorite memories as a mom.
3 Reflect On The Positives
You may think it’s best to avoid the subject of the baby that passed. But unless the grieving mother has told you this explicitly, don’t think you have to shove the topic under the rug. It can do her a lot of good to reflect on the good times she had as a mom to the baby she lost.
Consider asking every family member their favorite memory of the child who passed to get the whole family in on reminiscing.
2 Letter To The Baby
It can be very cathartic to write a letter to someone you’ve lost, so consider encouraging the bereaved mother to pen a note to her baby. You can present her with a pretty notebook or journal, which can be the start of many letters to the baby.
Don’t expect her to share what she wrote if she doesn’t offer to. Give her space to get her feelings down on paper, and then spend the rest of the holiday doing something to lift her spirits.
1 Ask How She’s Doing
Finally, be sure to ask how she’s really doing. Make it clear that the bereaved mother doesn’t have to sugarcoat anything. She doesn’t have to put on a smiley face just to appease others this Mother’s Day. Let her know that it’s okay if she wants to do nothing, and it’s okay if she wants to do something big.
Sources: Today’s Parent, The Morning, Compassionate Loss, Romper,
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